It's Life!

It's life is about life.. direct dil se!

A change of land

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Umbilical cord is not cut just once in life...
For a girl it happens twice, the second time is when she bids goodbye to the life she grew up in to enter another life which now is forever.
As I stepped out... I kept strong... dad mom... All is well...
slowly, steadily, tearfully, blissfully... the cord was cut once again in life...
From daddy's land to husband's land... a change of land beneath my feet that just happened within fractions of minutes.
From being carefree to being careful... I ask myself, has the earth just revolved or its my life that's taken a 360 degree revolution?
Well ya... its just the change of sequence in the play, a new set in life's stage is ready to be lived and new characters have joined the play with new roles to enact.
Being mommy's pet to daddy's heartbeat, to being a bride to wife to daughter in law... a world of change, a world of suddenly becoming big.

Getting married was an event, the preparations, shopping, detailing every little thing that made it a memorable day of our life was followed by a beautiful trip to wonderland planned by my life partner. From friends to lovers to husband & wife we became in this world of wonderland...
and then came reality... and it felt like did I just dream all of that? 

All for me...

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The stage is set... the curtains are up...
Wondering am I really so important?
So many relatives have come all the way from far and wide to attend my big day.
Everyone's dressing up, looking good... all for my occasion.
Happy for me...
All for me...

and me...
I am with jitters uncontrollable.
Everything about my life is going to change.
My ideologies, my wishes, my dreams... the "me" is what I need to drop.
New duties, new responsibilities, new ideologies... I got to adapt.
Perceptions to deal with, dislikes to let go, transformation to embrace.
Everyone around me is rejoicing for my big day but I am trembling from within.
May god be there through this phase with me.


Time slipping away

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Time is slipping away...
As I see life getting transformed into new within a week.

I know millions get married, million girls leave their parents, family, house, belongings, their life to enter into another person's life, his parents, his family, his house, his belongings. But for me its still the first time, the only time, the new time. Millions may have done it but for me its now and it is it. It may have been simpler or tuffer for others, but for me its what I am feeling at the moment.

Been told where I grew up is parents house and husband's house is your own house. So I am going to my house. After 29 years of life I have lived and loved I am stepping out.
Pankhida ne aa pinjru jhunu jhunu laage... bahu e samjavu toye pankhi navu pinjaru maange... 

Time is slipping away from between my fingers as a told it tighter... A week will be gone in a blink and I will be placed into a totally different world. Thoughts thoughts and only thoughts... they don't leave my brain even for a fraction. Even as a meditate I am sitting in either past thoughts or future thoughts.

Putting self together in this moment strongly is what I am striving to do.
All geographical terminologies which only imagined so far I can feel within me strongly... platelet movements, volcanic disruptions, tectonic movements...
Battling it all, calming it down because I have only a week before a new life takes over.

All will good.
I smile and I am at peace.

Uprooted to be Replanted

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 In the process of being Uprooted only to be replanted...
But can the roots in the new plant be strong enough now?

Years passed but the turbulence within never took a pause, 
and yet again in this phase of life the volcano within is undefinable.

True that 6 months from now, even today's volcano will settle down, 
Just like the volcano that happened 6 months ago or 6 years ago, today those feel like sweet moments which passed by and I dealt with it as well though they seemed like larger than life when I was in it.
Every moment like I have always believed has a very short shelf life... yes aanewala pal bhi jaanewala hai
yet everytime when in the moment, it seems like the biggest thing in the world. 

Ofcourse today it is big, its a life transforming event thats shapping up, a month later I will be in the physical sense uprooted from one plant where I have taken birth, grown, been nurtured, and prospered only to be replanted to another plant where they say you take another birth. What if the soil is not suited, what if this plant is not watered daily, what if and what if... the negative what's if are instant to crop up, but that wont give energy to this plant... so lets say what if the new soil is just what was needed to grow further, what if the plant is now self sustaining and doesn't need water but is in position to provide water to stems... yeah now the what if's gives some motivation to be replanted :)

Obviously this fear is beyond repair at the moment, probably every plant goes through, "vidhi ka vidhan", "niyati"... or some destiny thing... that's how this whole circle of being uprooted from one house to being planted into another house is only and only designed for the women. They are born with supernatural powers or what I dont know, but this feeling is litreally like standing on sand in the sea and waves taking away the little sand beneath your feet... you wonder the one beneath my feet is that the only sand out of so much around that the sea could find to take away?

Well just as this process of being uprooted has begun, letting go of the years gone by feels like a constant conflict within the small beating organ in my body every second, 'viraha - this symphony of separation' with the roots I am born in is painful, tearful, saddening and literally unnerving. Its a comfort zone I never want to leave. Mothers love, Fathers care, Sisters affection... Its absolutely irreplaceable. Why leave the world I am loved so much. Why are my roots being uprooted, the rebel within comes alive again... and once again I calm it down. 
Letting go to Begin again... Hoping its all worth it!

Darr ke aage jeet hai... Lets begin a new life...
Bring it on!!!

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