It's Life!

Cut the feathers one by one... thats the better approach... leads towards cutting the wings!
Everytime you chose to fly... you chose to take decisions on your own... there is someone out there ready to cut off your wings! Just as you thought you were ready, self-sufficient, prepared enough & didnt need help, didnt need permissions, didnt need to ask... oops... the wings are cut & once again you cant fly, you cant decide, you are once again down on the ground!
Its strange but happens all the time... there are sooo many people around you all the time, they are your friends, family, relatives etc etc. You share every bit of your thought with them, yet when you are pricked & you are just about to crumple... you find yourself completely by yourself, all alone... facing that moment! feeble & weak is what that moment makes you feel. You are on your own, struggling & fighting... all alone in this bad big world! Look to your right, your left or around, its only darkness... & you accept it or not... Yes... there is Fear of the Dark!!! Everyone fears that unknown, untrodden path, uncertain!
You gather up everything within you and manage to get up again... all ready to take up the next fight, the next obstacle... you chose to chose! you take decisions... and once again... cut cut cut...
The Wings are Cut! & you cant fly & then you feel surrounded by this strange mockery, darkness, helplessness!...
Seems like Thoughts just waived... Smile at them... coz thats the power you have... to form new wings... again and again and again!!!

Is it people... or is it feelings and emotions? or its both?
When people enter our lives... they bring along some energy... some feelings, some emotions to our lives... whether its hatred or love... either of them makes a place in our heart! So, is it that person or is it that emotion? coz when time comes... the person walks away leaving behind the emotion... so I guess its the people who are perishable, not the feeling, not the emotion!
What happens? Why it happens?... gets me to think! but it happens... There is an expiry date to everything... a contract, an agreement, a moment, a day and a person! Death is the ultimate to it all... but just before reaching there... there are soo many moments of perishiablity that we go through! We walk away from careers, we walk away from jobs, we awalk away from hometowns, We walk away from lives... are we walking away? or are we walking ahead? again subject to how we percieve! But its quantifiable... yes very much... measure it with the people from whos lives you chose to walk away & you will get its net worth... maybe in terms of value and weight as well! This perishability of a person is understood only when the cycle is complete... you walk out from someones life and then someone walks out from your life!
Looks quite strange but yes there are so many expiry dates we set before we actually reach the ultimatum of expiry!

Craving for credits, craving for recognition, craving to be heard, craving to be known... is whats seen around all the time! Used to get extremely annoyed with this craving earlier but with time saw and realised thats its the default mode of every human. The "I" & "Me" is soo important... how much ever you deny... you still want recognition.
Observed behaviors, listened to people, got present with myself and realised how easily all of us play this "I am great" game! We say and do things so that we become eligible for peoples sympathy or awe! If you just observe for a while... you will easily relate to what I am talking about... It becomes so important to receive that bit of "yes you are great" for that moment when you have already visualised the future of that conversation & how low/demotaivated it feels when you dont get the credit you expected!
Wish to drop this "I"... wish to break this default mode and act selflessly...
Its difficult... but struggling to drop it! Dropping the identity, to do away with credit, to do away with being recognised as great isnt the idea... but dropping the expectation of getting these intents fulfilled is a difficult task! but try it out... its fun battling and esp when you see others going ahead coz u r stepping back... its more fun! Break the default mode! :)

Hold your horses!!! Hold it... Intentions are unfulfilled & whats filled is the incompleteness of these intentions!!!
Strongly you wanted something... easy to blame it on the circumstances... but guess the cluttered mind didnt have the real intent... otherwise nothing on this earth can stop!!!
The power within is too fierceful... its too over bearing on such intentions... I vouch for that! Its impossible that it will be unfulfilled if I really intended...
Got caught up in playing egos, in the constraints it will create, in giving reasons to the fulfilling of these intentions... obviously after you stepped down in front of the intentions, it was time for the fulfilling intentions to step down too... If you showed inauthenticity towards them, why should it show authenticty!!! clap works with 2 hands & so does every emotion in life!
Its so difficult to let go the pay offs!!! Now I know exactly why these intentions remain unfulfilled!!! 100% of authenticity is lacking! You are actually getting to do things you always wanted to... you are getting to be yourself... you thought the intent was bringing knots with it! You say you are ready for getting tied in those knots which will take away your freedom, your self-expression, your way of independence... will you let go every other intent for this... are you sure??? I dont think so... You are not being authentic with yourself... otherwise you would have completed this long back! You would have fulfilled & achieved your intentions long long back!
I never wanted that intention to be completed... thats why it remains unfulfilled till now... ! Its no more a blame game on circumstances, on external situations, on people... I made my choices! I chose to let my intents be unfulfilled... because I chose!!!

Yeah... The easy way out to every situation, to every problem, to every solution is "Assumptions"!!! I do that more then often & generally get into trouble most of the times! Have Lost loads... relationships, people... loads... only because of taking this easy way out of solving... yet havent moved out from there! Its actually become a practise now, rather a habit! when things arent clear on why they are happening... mind starts multiplying, dividing, adding, subtracting all the possibilities... since the underlying fact is unknown & u r striving & grappling & wanting to know the facts... but u r helpless... all the efforts go down the drains... unclarity of the occurring is there & you are struggling hard, harder & hardest to know that fact which may slap on your face like the reality you didnt want to know... you take the easy way out! rather I take the easy way out... Assuming!... my assumptions are the way I want to think... so if its positive I call it powerful visualisations! & if negative... I generally live with a low! Analysing... why it happened? how did it happen? what? when? why? feel like asking this dumb why's... bloody questions... why dont you just buzz off and let me be! Why is it soooo important to think over, bring clutter, complicate further & at the end of it... feel helpless & devastated!... well.. that was a Why once again! :)
but guess thats what makes a living!... putting meanings to everything in life! Once in life I used to buy the thought that 'everything has a reason' but after doing the landmark forum jus realised that everything need not have a reason!!! be unreasonable... life will work better!...
But being unreasonable also means to give away assumptions... which I wouldnt let go off... coz at the end of the day thats what has become a part of living!
Its really funny at the rapid speed on which the thought process works... You see something not working out... a relation facing its twists, a frown you saw, a fight you witnessed, an argument... & all u can instantly start doing, is to start assuming... 'A must have happened to B, & C has to be part of A, & D & E & F'.. all the dumb assumptions which worsen your thought process, makes u weaker, justifies all your worries, makes u feel right & the other wrong, makes u feel dominant, makes u feel great coz u r the sufferer, makes u feel low & helpless coz at the end of it u just cant get out solving anything with clarity!!!
Its difficult to confront & accept & face the reality which will probably be harsh & rude for the moment but will make thoughts clearer & powerful!... but its so very easy to assume & be at the low of the moment! :) Strange is our thought process!!!