It's Life!

People matter! Relationships matter more than people! But then there is a dawn of realisation which says... Its not dealing with people or relations... Its dealing with Egos!!!
Took up HR coz what mattered most were the people around! How best can I make someones day, make every person around me smile... got to know thats one of the roles of an HR so took it up! People are obviously there in every function... Finance or marketing... but the strangest & the tuffest part of being an HR is you arent directly involved in anything, yet you are a part of everything! you are the unbiased voice who is ready to take shit for no fault of yours! No one cares who you are, what you feel... what matters is what they feel, what they say! This function is called People development... strange na... you work towards developing people in the direction they want to... these are the people who become so very important in your life... there frowns, smiles, their highs, lows matter to you... yet when you ask them, they think you are artificial! thats when reality slaps on your face & tells you its tuff! All that you are seeing is not true... all that you felt wasnt true either! You question where was the inauthenticity... but all that you find is the strange hollowness in every relation you have with everyone around! thats when incompleteness crops in... & you feel guess m not tailor made for handling a function that probably doesnt involve people... but only Egos!
Was obsessed with behavioral dynamics... wondered about implementing every theory, every new concept learnt in the BD lectures! started relating everything to all the concepts learned... to all the people met! didnt know what was working & wat wasnt... but it was fun! Had loved when Transactional Anaylsis was taught... the amazing understanding of 7 ego states, their transactions, strokes, life positions & so on. But when came face to face with situations... there was this reality check that its only Egos flying around! Ego becomes larger than person! You are dealing with Egos... no matter where you are... they say creative egos are much more difficult to deal, but I think that doesnt matter... coz every person is creative & has an individualistic thought & a craving to be heard & recognised no matter who they are! Thats when the games begin... games & battles of the heart & mind! Always wondered why doesnt Heart & Mind be in sync... are they different??? or its just my way of giving a reason to my inauthenticity & incompleteness! But I do feel the thin line running through my spin which I call weakness when I "feel" & "think" of this battle of feeling v/s thinking & heart v/s mind! If heart is different then mind... then where is the soul???... freak its so easy to complicate thoughts! Guess thats when its easy to dismantle it by a thought someone told me... "Its not what I said, Its what you heard!" so I said what I meant... but you heard just exactly the way you wanted to hear it!
Anyways... enough of BD obession... which will never go... Its my way of living!
Its this sensitive function... which requires tuff people who balance out being sensitive too! Its generally not given a high status... its generally taken for a ride... yet its the magic which brings actualisation too!