Its ironical...
A 2 yr old is battling with life and a 26 yr old is wondering why is she alive!
Life without purpose is like a wasted piece of barren land where nothing grows, nothing survives... its just there coz it has to be.
Standing unconditionally... quite a place to stand!
Nah... its not love, its not support... n mind u... not even easy! Takes strenght n a whole lot to stand still at this place called "unconditionality"!
Its a feeling that brings out the best in you. Makes you feel like your life is worth it!
Its different... till now I thought it can be merged with love... but no... its a different ball game alltogether.
No expectations... No conditions... but you stand for someone you value enough.
At the end what matters is the bundle of moments you had in your life...
I tried it... when flashback of life ran through in front of my eyes as if its a film roll running... that fast moments very swtiching... Every person who touched my life wasnt seen in a passport size photo but rather in the form of a moment... A moment I shared with them! A moment which touched my life in such a way that where in the back of the memory it was I never even knew!
Really... when you have heavenly moments... they cant be forgotten...
As simple as being involved in the lives of people important... to just being silent with no talk with your best friend...
moments would vary... but its really those few heavenly moments that matter and can make a person be remembered in your life forever!
We spend so much time cribing, complaining, worrying... but what I realise now is those moments only negate the value of "feeling heavenly"...
In the spur of seconds when life runs like a camera roll in front of you... what you really want to remember is those moments which made you feel "heavenly" and that automatically comes with "unconditionality"... when there is no string attached!
Looking at life from an angle I hadnt seen before...
what makes an individual? till now I thought its conscience... whole life till now strongly felt there is nothing more stronger than a conscience but today I saw another face of conscience...
Either you keep yourself happy or you keep people happy... One who lives 10 years n lives every year to a 100% and One who lives 50 years n really lives his share of fun for 5 years only... whos life wins? Ideologies, Principals... what do we make out of these... a rule book for living life... who decides? we make our own rules...
A leap of faith... can v take one? When everyone around is not being faithful... what would make you take a leap of faith?
Based on feelings, based on our perspectives of good/bad we make decisions... whether its to take a leap of faith or to be unfaithful...
Truth v/s Lie... Good v/s bad... Uncorrupt v/s Corrupt... There is someone who is True-Good-Uncorrupt and there is someone who Lies-bad-corrupt... Can one get away? is it really possible to get away in life by saying only lies and being corrupt? Should one fear of the circle of life... which says what goes comes back?
Cluttered once again...
Indispensible... Nah... Not really...
Nothing is indispensible!
So many times moments in life come when we feel... this is it... cant get better... neither the situation, neither the person, neither the moment!... but life moves ahead...
A new song replaces the old song... Playlists are updated, replaced with newer favorites...
Yeah... And just for the moment... its a new moment... and life looks new! fresh!
All the clutter of the past is washed off just like opening up the tightly held fist in waters and letting go all that which was held back... letting go... washing off all that which once felt indispensible...
:)
little disjointed... but jus some random thoughts...
Didnt feel kicked enough to blog since a while...
but today this friend knocked my head and said to me... "its either ur mistake or no ones!"... n suddenly everything was crystal clear in front of me!
Taking responsibility for my action and inaction is what was missing!
Its true... people come in our life to play a role...
and after that role is over... they either move away, fall apart or change roles and upgrade into newer roles! :) but we get stuck... just by making it all so significant we forget that roles are time bound and they have to end sooner or later!
After a lapse of time... that song's wordings hold true... "itne tarse ke ab pyaas hi na rahi"...
Heartbeat says it all today!
Beats are faster, hands shivering, a sense of pride settling in, blushing, feeling a strange numbness... well yes all these are supposed to be symptoms of falling in love...
But even the fullfilling feeling of achivement has the same symptoms...
Owe this to you my friend who played a role of middleman between me and my dream! :)
Undefinable feeling of wow within... Well... Its about the Bullet!
The adrenaline speaks for itself today! Its like heart is smiling today with a sense of yes I did it!
I rode it!
Reminds me of the 1st time moments... the 1st time I rode cycle, then activa, then car, then bike... and today its a Bullet!
And this blog's for you my friend who always complained that why cant my blogs be happy ones too! :D
Something that bothered a year ago or probably a week ago... doesnt even matter now.
How significant we make things when they occur...
But thats when I realise that it was the Reality of that moment! :)
When I think of so many moments now, I sometimes feel stupid that... even something so trivial could have bothered, or such a stupid thing put me on a crossroad decision, or just some people became so significant or just some expectations that ruled the head...
Now after its like a 'been there done that'... it can be laughed and probably even forgotton but in that moment of time it seemed like the biggest ever trouble or event or watever it was...
How strange is this "Time" business... the clock keeps ticking without any rest breaks...
and just a moment that was so significant an hour ago, suddenly seems like wats the big deal yaar! but that was reality of the moment an hour ago!
Used to have this list of my set of principals and some rubbish stubborness about it too... It all seemed so real at that moment... but today can see that could have eased up a bit... probably thats real in this moment!
Wish we stopped making everything so significant...
We stop talking to people we mess up with like forever... like why! why make it such a big deal...
We hold on grudges, ego issues and so much more to only keep snapping at each other later in life... really man... why!
why make life so significant when it really is a temporary event!
its gonna end soon... then why resist from reviving lost friendships, from just accepting cracks and moving to build better quality glasses, from people whom we have broken ties with, from just everything we made so significant when it occured!
Writing this crap... in the reality of this moment! :) and smiling... that its still just a moment...
Oh yeah... reminds me of... "Aanewala pal tou jaane wala hai... Ho sake tou isme zindagi bitado... pal eh bhi jaanewala hai"...
Frictions, fireworks, tears, sadness... is all that remains in a lost friendship or a broken tie! Sure... even that was required/Real in that moment. But living with it forever feels stupid to even think of it. What was so real and significant in that moment is no more now... then why hold on to the same stubborness...
Loosen up the stubborness... or probably from the grave also v'll shout... my decisions wont ever budge, my this, my that... the significant "me" and "my ways"... doesnt matter whether it impacts or alters largely the people and environment around... but wat matters is the significant "me".
Loosen up man! Loosen up! Just a Reality of this moment!
Ever thought of the thought...
Sitting on a chair, tied with a rope... hands tied, legs tied, a tape on your mouth...
Struggling! Struggling hard to break free...
Thats how I see my country, our world as... tied tightly with a rope and struggling... struggling hard to break free...
Its a feeling hard to define... A moment of utter helplessness that takes over every rational thought...
Its like being left alone somewhere, just anywhere in the midst of all the blue colour around the world on the atlas... yeah all alone struggling to survive in these endless blue oceans...
Hollowness settles in and feels like its all empty right inside... Nothing left to give, nothing more to take...
Probably just a lonely traveller on this journey called life!... each of us have to live our own journeys... sometimes when I see a pujari in the temple, a naked kid on the road, a liftman in the building... just every living being, human or animal or plant and I wonder.... questions clutter up my head... then when am clueless, answer it myself saying... he has come to travel his own journey and I got to travel my own journey.
Within 24 hours of a day... there is soo much to travel... variations of thoughts, moods, highs and lows. Within jus a span of daylight and moonlight... feel helpless, wasted and also bright, charged.
Its blankness + commotion that flashes in the head at the same time... Ironies and Anthithesis are all there playing its role all the time.
Amongst all of this... there is probably one word that defines the journey of life...
"Perseverance"... its dictionary meaning - Continuing inspite of difficulties!
Surrounded by these 2 leagues of people...
one who are married or just married and
one who are trying to get married!
and then there is also a third league... but thats not important at the moment...
League 1 are the ones who are already in part 2 of life so not even talking about it.
Currently its the 2nd league who's kinetic energy is a matter of worry!
Its an activity filled epic going on in the lives of all of those "trying to get married"...
Drama of parents, drama of caste difference, drama of religion difference... and all this drama only coz of "non acceptance"... fighting it out, trying to stick it out!
Parents health at stake, family values at stake, professions and careers at stake... all for wat...?
for fullfilling the desire of being with the partner for life, chosen by self!
Its a stand you take when you are hardest hit. Its tuff choices.
A point comes when one makes the decision for both and whether the other likes or not, he/she is left to accept it. Mutually acceptable decisions... thats one form of bullshit talks in these cases! never works! one has to agree to the other whether or not he/she wants to. Isnt a relationship a form of interdepence? So then it eventually lands up with one taking a decision and the other living up to it.
Bloody there is so much hype of the drama within yourself that sometimes you wonder is fight even worth it! may be not... yet you fight! Afterall we all need some activity to burn some calories and to one day sit on an arm chair and sing to the world... oh I have experienced those times too! Whether failed or succeeded... whether given up or did hold on... its just a moment that defines life then!
Quite an ultimate crossroad of life... most important relations at stake, confidence levels at stake... just everything that took to build you up & get to this far in life is at stake!
and all that you are left with is "a choice" that will have a ripple effect on everything on either side... its like one side is a valley and the other side an ocean... both sides survival will be tuff!... but choice is urs at the end of the day! coz destiny is a matter of your choice in that moment!
Tuff times... but thats one part of life... where if you stick it out or you dont... you will have an edge of an enriched experience! :)
I am with you... my "trying to get married" people! Stick it out when you are hardest hit... rest if you must, but dont you quit!
New Year... 2010!
Suddenly a new charm all over... a smile which says let go... let go of all the unfinished, undone, incomplete tasks, dos, tunnels, tears and smears of 2009. Its a yearly clock that gives you this space whether you want it or not. Its good!
So, Whats next!?
When lows hit lower... and lower... and reach its end tip... the only way left is to go up... so time to get high now!
Time to live for a goal... for a game which is worth putting in effort!
Asking a question... wasnt quarter a life enough for distractions, wasnt it enough to just give it up on others, wasnt it enough to just wander around like the boatman with no shore...
Yeah... it was enough... coz a time comes in life when all you did in life suddenly looks small in front of you, when quarter of a life laughs at you and says... wake up!
Feels like grown up 25 times faster in one year than the last 25 years itself! Guess thats what they call... being in quarter life crisis!
Looking back... I see that have covered so much of life within just a span of a year... Didnt even know I was capable of it! Managed it man... bruised, beaten, dead... yet sailed through every moment like a just a fraction of a second!
Thanks to every individual who contributed in either pulling me down or gathering my pieces or just praying silently without putting any conditions!
Its only when you face failure head on... you really value the juice in the lemon called life!
Glad to have grown past a year that makes me feel like a bullet proof jacket over the next innings of life! Thanks 2009 for making me stronger than ever before!
Well... 2009's gone... with all the tuffs and toughs of it!
Its 2010 now... and have a target for which can feel the fire within...
Yup... 117 days in hand that demands much more than I can think of...
All set... ready... to play! n Play well!
Just one more game... out of the bigger game of Life! :)
Last month of the year!... 11 months have gone by already...
The year gone by setting deadlines for each month... n it just passed by without really living it!
This just dawned on!
Imagery that I had formed in all these years about self was of being a solider... to fight from the front n I even thought m fighting now as well...
But today in just a conversation with a friend my eyebrows raised n it ticked in the head...
knock knock... whats up?... who r u?...
n I hear a voice from within saying... "boss... u r an escapist!"...
umm huh! wat! is it!.... yeah!....
what m I escaping from!
from dealing with what life is throwing!!!
oh gosh... can i believe tht!... well yeah!... got to! nothing is real, nothing has meaning... yet!!!!
Going back... it seems took life for granted... looked at every month as a new sunshine of hope to deal with what the start of the year threw on me!
But the darkness only got darker... and so one day... made a choice...
well... I chose to escape!
Everyone except me can see that m escaping... but I even want to be blind to seeing that I am escaping! freaking... its leading no where! Just adding a mile more to darkness...
Took decisions which turned around life upside down... only to realise thats my road to escapism!
Down on knees n can see... m no soldier anymore... no black spidey anymore...
Just a piece of life with a beating heart and some bloody hope!
One by one... Layer by layer... a building is getting built...
Like the redevelopment projects of new buildings by many builders going around in the city... this one's the latest going on...
this one's also a redevelopment project...
an old building which had developed some cracks but was still worth living is demolished coz a new building is being built in its place...
layer by layer, floor by floor... its getting built... just that the name of this new building is "frustration"... it has the capacity to become the tallest building coz it has soo much to hold on to...
its built with high quality cement of the latest brand called "negativity"...
I dont like to write on low tides all the time now... but thats all thts being going around.
cant see any way out... is the glass unclean or its really so bad?... dont knw!
but its jus that this spiral swril around is pulling down all the energies big time.
Newspapers are filled with rapes and murders, News channels are filled with wat worst the ruling parties and their opposition parties are doing to pull down each other, People think the world is a bloody dustbin so garbage and spitting can be done just anywhere they please, Realtionships are breaking for issues that are negligible but now unhandleable, divorce rates, breakup rates, stress levels are like the layers of this building... they are jus making the building look more and more posh! bloody hell...
Dont knw whether I am the only one whose head is so loaded all the time and the forehead just doesnt seem to ease up... but I knw that its getting a little too much on the plate now...
If its like just a phase... then this phase seems endless... it jus doesnt phase out! Everytime u feel cant get worst than this... u r proved wrong... coz bad to worse happens over and over again...
Asking questions, analysing like where did I go so wrong? What have I done so wrong in lifetime that this is whats happening?... these are quite obvious and normal expressions... but they dont help... they only make it worse! Questions remain unanswered and everyday there seems progress... there is rise everyday... in the level of helplessness!
At most times it seems like there is just No way out... Just no way out... Everything that you do to look for a way is blocked, cant see any way... makes me wonder... is there a way?
Would the dark tunnel ever see some light... ?
But its strange that inspite of all these layers of frustration... there is something within which is burning and doesnt allow me to believe that there wouldnt be a way and so there is something called "Hope"... which lives stronger...
Where is all this headed... dont knw!
Sometimes when u walk in this crowded city or drive along the heavy traffic roads... it gives a feel that everyone is just waiting for one thing... waiting to die! coz thats the only thing that we know... that it happens! everything else is just illusion... based on hope or self strenght or watever!
I look at prayers as strenght frequencies, a way to reach out to people...
Probably thats one Freedom anyone and everyone has...!
Wish that no more relationships break, no more marriages break, people become responsible and there is atleast a little more percentage of smiles than the cries.
Just thinking aloud... and exhaling a deep breath of hope!
Sometimes its a low tide in life...
Confidence on self goes for a toss... every decision glares on the face as if why the f*** were they taken!
Trust on people round seems as if it never exsisted!
Fear takes over and thats it... fear becomes reality then!
Like a low tide in the sea... water becomes very far... similarly life suddenly seems far...
A volcano eruption within that is unexplained, un-understood by anyone, unimaginable... erupts!
Its the same expression of fear that the little boy of Taare Zameen Pe portrays. Curled in fear, unable to handle the staring eyes, scared and feeling worthless!
Just some times its a low tide in life...
Its Diwali all over again! A festive moment & the lights on the streets bring a twinkle in my eye!
But here have come around to write on a different perspective to the emotion called "love"!
Seeing this emotion from far, now, I can start to see its nuances... the little things that I never knew were also a part of it. Now I just see this feeling as it is and hence this angle to it...
I see that in love you become selfish. Thats so very ironical a statement itself. On one hand Love is like the second name to Give, to spread happiness, to love and spread love. And on its second side... its selfish.
Love is like a slow drug... it gets you in a temporary high where you arent even aware of whats happening. Its like that para from the song of KHNH... "Cheezein Mein Rakh Ke Bhool Jaati Hoon, Bekhayaali Mein Gungunati Hoon, Ab Akele Mein Muskuraati Hoon, Badli Hui Si Meri Ada Hai... Kuch To Hua Hai, Kuch Ho Gaya Hai"... yeah thats exactly Love! You arent you when in love and guess thats why you dont even realise when it makes you selfish.
You start to think only about the person you love and what and how you can do to be a better and better partner. You forget that there used to be a life beyond your partner. Your partner becomes ur life! Nothing else matters! Noone else matters! Even though you say that no, nothings changed... u knw u r lieing! coz the whole world inside you and around you has already changed! Its like a volcano thats erupted within you... a volcano of sudden happiness, high, feeling good, feeling beautiful, being great!
Suddenly, like the structural changes that an earthquake brings on earth, similarly... Love brings such structural change in our lives. Along with making you feel on the top of the world, it takes you away from a lot of individuals who mattered in your life some time ago... and the best part about this is... you dont even realise this is happening! Coz for you, you are still the same, and that it isnt your fault that u r in love, u feel people around you should understand that... but strangely enough... you arent the same! and so obviously the people around you arent the same!
You are the same, no doubt... but your way of looking at these same people alters. Coz now before anyone comes your partner... every person who mattered so much till yesterday, comes second to your partner. It makes you think only about your partner, which ideally means, thinking about your self! Coz u start to feel you are worthless without ur partner... u cant live without ur partner etc etc etc... call it the standard operating principals of love! :)
Suddenly self becomes bigger than people, things, events, moments that mattered till yesterday! I saw this side of Love now and realised that this is an avoidable side of love if you realised it at the correct moment! But generally its not easy to realise this side of love esp when in love!
Nothing wrong with any of this... Not critizising this emotion... I love, Love! Its a feeling I wish everyone gets to feel... coz the high that it gets one into is much more than any drug or any other emotion... its even higher than pain! guess thats why we love to fall in love! coz even pain starts to look beautiful in love!
Rightly said... sometimes u got to be out of the court and see how well you can play and how well you can avoid the mistakes!
Love can be just Love! Let it be there! :)
3 Months! The Game is on! Playing Full out!
Without getting attached to the results,
Without keeping expectations of the outcome,
Without getting pulled down everytime the storm hits back,
Without letting the energies fade with the occuring world,
With Fire in the belly to play it full out,
With Unstoppable positivity that can overcome every negativity,
With Universe all ready, eagerly waiting to fulfill my dream,
With strenght that overpowers every weak thought, every weak moment,
With a high thats gonna last forever, thats gonna take over every low, big or small,
With confidence, determination, commitment and ready to enjoy victory!
Operating from the place called "Love",
Standing for the place called "Love",
Living a game, playing the game... all set to just play full out!
and leave no stone unturned, no regret behind, no option but to win! ...
Yes... Who I am is the Possibility of Power... Power in Love!
Space around is powerful to operate from Love... Nothing left to withold now, nothing left to loose!
Its a place to stand, a place where power needs power, coz its the place of "Love",
Which has power in itself to either pull u up to a +200, but also equal power to pull down to a level -600. Thats the power Love carries... unimaginably magical!
Chose to stay with +700... come what may!!!
coz When you really really want something... the entire universe conspires to get u to achieve it! There is only thing possible now... being Unstoppable!
Just playing full out!!!
Everytime I stand up there is this pull that pulls back down.
Stuck! Stopped! Static!...
Yeah thats how life gets many a times...
Taking action is nowhere in ur scheme of things. Guilt takes over coz planning of work is done but no action is taken. Give it words... I am procastinating taking action or I am lazy or I just didnt do it! period!
But what happens after that!...
This space is uncomfortable... its restless... its a weird hollowness that sets within!
is it that life itself is so quickly replaceable that u feel jus let it be... why to even bother life... when its so easy to replace it! The place the finger took in the water is going to get replaced in a second when the finger is removed from water... then why bother! finger is as it is going to be replaced! then why bother about life!
sometimes its a feeling tht this is it!... no more than this moment! and yet again... another moment comes in... another game to play... another breakdown to deal with it!
playing this game and dealing to move and not be stuck!
A castle was built in a far far land... This castle had a window from where a lot of breeze would enter and make this place worth dieing for. Anyone who came in the castle could never leave without falling in love with this breeze. Just like gravitational force pulls towards the ground... similarly this breeze had a magical pull which no one could be spared from. One day someone inside the castle dared to challenge this occuring that had now become a reality. A new fight began in the castle.
An occuring that had never occured, never even been thought of in dreams began. Now the breeze had to face resistance which it never faced till now. It had to prove itself which it never thought will have to do. Inspite of knowing that it only does good, it had to fight. It had never hurted anyone, rather it has only done good to the castle, it had made it a place worth living in and worth dieing for. And now suddenly the castle said "I have my own reasons, I need to part and move ahead, I know and acknowledge that u have done good and will continue that but its time to move ahead to progress from breeze to probably something more than that." Breeze didnt understand why is this happening, it is doing its every bit to do the best it can to only spread happiness, peace and so much of love and yet here is someone who says I really love your existence but I dont want you now.
It began rebelling, resisting, it became unhappy itself, it started to loose its own power because its focus shifted from making the castle a place worth dieing for to its own survival. It began to resist, it didnt want to accept that someone who was acknowledging its presence is saying that it should leave now. It just didnt want to accept that inspite of being so powerful in itself it was dependent on someone else to take what it was giving. It started to see that if there were no takers, who would it give. It became sad, lost its charm, it felt its better to die than to leave a place it lived for. Its focus was on "why is this happening to me, I dont doesnt deserve this, I cant be stopped by someone for whom I only kept giving and giving", it lost its earlier focus of "I accept you the way you are and the way you are not, I will accept you as rude and I will accept you as being not nice". Its focus had shifted from castels happiness to its own desires. It now only wanted to be there, come what may. Its complete focus was on self now.
It wasnt anymore doing what it used to, of making the castle worth living in and worth dieing for. Now that it wasnt even doing its real job, it was very easy to be asked to leave. It had to go... Now this breeze was wandering alone, tired and almost dead, powerless and hurt. It started to blame every occuring around it for its such a sad state. It couldnt see any way out. It wanted to again start giving itself the way it used to, it wanted to but was stuck to the thoughts of why why why did all that happened, that happened. It kept on thinking and drowning, why this happened when inpsite on it only thinking and doing good. It just couldnt accept what had happened. It knew that even the castle had not left it, rather the castle also wanted it back but didnt want such a dead, tired breeze.
Nothing was working out. Everything was stuck. Neither the breeze, nor the castle wanted to accept what actually occured. This unplesantness carried on for a lot many months. Both unhappy, both wanting to be together but not in the setting it was earlier in. The breeze could have got the castle back and the castle could have got the breeze back but neither of them wanted to accept the other with these new changes. Breeze wanted to stay with the castle forever and all the time, but the castle only wanted the breeze for sometime in the day, it didnt want it forvever.
Now... what the real test... Castle asked the breeze to come along, come back and make my place worth living for and worth dieing for but dont expect to be within me all the time... You will be there only for sometime... Ha! What a moment in the life of the breeze... It wanted to be spreading its energy, love, peace and happiness all the time but the castle only wanted some part of it... Breeze wanted to give itself fully but the castle didnt want to take it fully. Now was the time for the breeze to prove its real purpose of existence. If its existed is to make the castle worth living in and worth dieing for... so be it! that is it! thats what it should do, but now how! how with all this baggage of all the hurts, blames and insecurities would it be able to do its bit.
It felt like it was playing a lost game... nothing would be the way it was and neither it will be satisfactory enough for future... it was just a lost game... It became scared, didnt want to deal, felt like jus dissolving into ashes in that moment itself. It just didnt want to deal, it didnt want to accept that the castle did want it but not the way it used to be. It felt terrible about itself. It got scared to be hurt further, all it wanted in that moment was to get DISSOLVED INTO ASHES... so tht it doesnt have to deal with anything... there was only fear gripping it... it wanted to take it off but it couldnt, it was too scared... It wanted to tell the castle how much it mattered that it be within the castle all the time... but the castle just didnt want it... Disheartened... it was resting for a while and thats when it occured to it... When there is 100% Acceptance and 0% Expectation... thats when its existence will be worth it! thats when it will leave the castle touched, moved and inspired by its presence instead of just having its need. It woke up... gathered its broken pieces and decided to create a space of freedom where the castle can be wat it is and only thats when its real purpose of existence will be fullfilled.
The tuffest part was crossing this chasm when all it wanted to do is Dissolve into ashes leaving behind everything and not have to deal with anything. Breeze got to be tuffer coz its game is getting tuffer... Hopefully it will... coz it knws its purpose... its purpose is not to own the castle... but to be with the castle when it needs it and to spread its wings of happiness and energy inside the castle.
The dark clouds moved apart and gave way to the possibility of light which was like a distant dream all this while. Many a times this dark tunnel seemed never ending, infact the deeper we went, the darker it became. Its true... you need to experience death to experience life all over again!
A friend made this statement yesterday... "There is only Good that will happen from here!"... and I so rightly believe it now!
Just so true... Everything arises out of language!!!... Reality doesn’t exist... we create it!
A world of infinite possibilities is glaring right in the eye... The road will get tuffer but ready and all set to explore infinity! coz tough times don’t last... tough people do!
Living this moment... coz life is in the NOW, in this moment!
Glad to have people around who stood like pillars in this journey of the dark tunnel! Wishing the best for everyone who adds power to existence!
Just cant thank god enough for my best friend's happiness who once said this to me n also believed in it fully... "HOPE DOEST DIE ANY DAY IN ANY ONE, IT JUST DRIES UP FOR SOMETIME, IT EMERGES ONLY WHEN IT SEES A HOPE OF LIGHT IN THE VERY DARK ROOM WHERE IT RESIDES."
Its the beginning of the end of the dark tunnel!!! :)
Keep saying this with a lot of melo drama a lot of times...
Ya sansarik jeevanchi moh-maya... mala nako!!!
Sometimes when I am conversing or just being myself... I feel everything around me is an illusion of my thoughts... its only maya... nothing is real...
I feel I am sleeping and seeing a dream... and all that it occuring around me is happening in my dream... I am not real, I am an illusion of my thoughts, a part of my dream...
Yeah... sounds philosophical or spiritual types but can really feel that way many a times...
Was watching Ramayan and few days ago in this episode... someone says...
One has to give up 3 things to attain peace of mind... Lobh (Greed), Moh (Love) and Bhay (Fear)... It sounds big but it stands true for each of us and the best part is... we all know of it already! But is it possible in today's scenario???
I dont agree to the concept that mind is at peace when in silence, meditative posture etc etc... Rather if Peace of mind is attained when walking on a road divider which heavy noise, traffic coming towards and going way on both sides then its more powerful.
Its strange, we feel we are all different... but actually we arent!... catch random conversations around you and you will see that too... we are all, almost same... each of us fears the person sitting next to us and conveniently forget that even that person is fearing us! When you listen to random conversations of people... someone in the train, someone in office, someone on road... you will always be able to relate to it... coz end of the day we all talk the same things, same topics, same issues, the same bloody moh-maya's!!!
Right now the whole world seems to be going through a tsunami within... negativity spreading much faster than any kind of postivity, 1 bad v/s 10 goods is catching up faster, lows pulling down all the energies we have... as if its like the gravitational force pulling us down, a constant clash of thoughts and heart within! We hear... market is bad, there is recession, there are no jobs, its become an employers market, there are bills outstanding, no money to pay salaries, companies to shut down, its a bear market, no one wants to spend, prices of everything is rising high, the big shots have lost jobs, etc etc etc... Do we really need to be listening to all this?
Yah its easier said than done... esp when the gravitational force of this low is much faster than any upswing!
We are in this "loose-loose" state (the 4th of the Life Positions)... where if I loose, I want the other to loose too... so that if it hurts, both of us are hurt together... We get used to a phase so quickly, now when I read xxx job cuts, xxx companies closed etc etc, I dont even feel a pinch inside anymore... quite a similar situation to how its become when we read xxx people dead, xxx people injured, bomb strike here, terrorist attack here etc etc... We are in the amazing lazy comfort zone where it only stinks but we got used to the stink as well! So... I loose, i am ok with it... but on the condition that u loose as well! Can see where are we headed... infact all of us see that in our sub-conscious mind... we can see existence ending because of us continuing to be this way like forever now! I have been saying this in a little more melo dramatic way... Duniya nasht hojayegi... very soon... and at that time it wont matter kiska bill bharna baki hai, kiska salary dena ya lena baki hai, kisko kisse problem hai, kaun kisse baat nahi karta!!! who will care about all this when its all ending!!! when survival and existence will be a question!? So strange is all this... but its far more stranger that we are all aware, we are present to this state of our life yet yet yet we are only moving deeper into the low and letting our energies get pulled!
Yeah... thats how the sansarik jeevanchi moh-maya is... Inherently a living being craves for being loved, wanted and supported. How can one break that is so natural to each of us! We move out of relationships, be cruel to people we loved, etc etc but end of the day what matters is to love and be loved... yeah... the moh-maya of people for people! We can get over materialistic moh-maya but what about the people we love! We need them, then why do we resist them when people want to be there for us!
A friend told me this story about Mahavir Bhagwan… in which he avoids doing what he intended to do just so that because of his action somebody else’s sins don’t add up! A thought opened up for me… Our actions, expectations lead to somebody else’s sins… like we keep saying… How could he/she do this to me? We make that he/she a reason for our sadness… and dhooofff… that’s the frequency we emitted… now this circle will be completed by that he/she through their deeds or sins… Its the Circle of Life... Right here, Right Now! How strange is this working of the moh-maya!!!
Have been seeing... a new way to live has been forming up because of this recession thing thats going around... its "LOL on urself!" Yeah... we laugh on ourselves on our jobless, salaryless, relationshipless conditions... make a joke out of everything and anything thats not going the way we wanted it to be... reduces the stress, pain and helps us live one more day in this state!
A lot of shit is happening around.... Each of us a negligible part of the shit... but just like a drop of water fills the whole ocean... a little shit from us fills the whole negative world!
Being a player on the court as well as a spectator to this game of life and wondering....
whats next!!!
